Thursday, March 14, 2013

I just came across this picture. Though taken two and a half years ago it is vintage Ainsley and me. I mean seriously people, who needs cable? She's flying through the air and I want a nap. Not a lot has changed since then and then again everything has.

Spring Break is nearly over. Can I get an amen? It actually has been great to have the girls to myself and not have to wake them for anything. We found plenty to do with our time. We baked a half batch of chocolate chip cookies yesterday because that's how much the family flour supply would allow. But it seemed plenty.

Our aim was to bring a plate of them to some new neighbors we saw move in a few weeks ago. They're at the other end of our street and on one of our trips past we thought we scoped out some little girls on their upper front porch. PFs (potential friends) bring out the Betty Crocker in all of us. Once we had our plate all set and our card ready to roll we walked on over. Yep, you guessed it. No one was home. Hadn't factored in that possibility. And since it's Spring Break we didn't opt to leave them on the doorstep in fear that we'd only attract the local raccoon family to their door and that just doesn't seem too neighborly.

Back home we went, cookies in hand. It wasn't long before we all started to look pretty longingly at the plate. I mean, they weren't home and would they ever know if we just took a couple off of the plate before bringing them down the next day? So we started in and well, it's going to take a lot of convincing for me to feel brave enough to bring what is now a plate of only three cookies from our motley Welcome Wagon.


Between the flour shortage and Emie's invite to a boy's birthday party this weekend I knew I had to face the unthinkable. I had to make a trip to Target with both children in tow to both visit the toy section and get some necessary staples. This is a fate reserved for people who hate themselves, have no other choice, or whose children love shopping a lot more than mine do. But today, it's what we did. It actually went fairly well. We got a gift, the flour, and a cart full of other stuff as is required by Target's subliminal messaging that plays through the store. How else is it that everyone gets more than what they came for in that place? Anyway, we got our stuff and then some and I only caved to one very persuasive request from the girls for cotton candy ice cream. Pretty sure it cannot truly be called food by any nutritional standard, but it's in our freezer now minus a couple of scoops consumed by two awfully cute burgeoning lawyers.

So besides the Target trip and the cookies consumed it just wasn't my best day. Not that the other two activities were memory making material - but I let my mind spin way too long on something that happened early on. Without boring you with all of the details (because the rest of this material is so riveting) suffice it to say I made a little distribution error while chlorinating the pool. An error that seems to have resulted in a little corrosive trouble. Not like water's going to leak all over the yard kind of trouble - just like part of what was once pretty and smooth in the spa now looks like the Liberty Bell.

If it wasn't disastrous then why did my stomach churn over this for the better part of the day? I am still learning how to just chill when I make a mistake. To just be nice to me. Know what I mean? I guess the point is that if a friend told me this happened to her, I'd be bummed for her but I wouldn't berate her endlessly for what was an honest mistake. Life.goes.on. And more importantly, this is the stuff of the earthly life that is a vapor - a vapor filled with chlorine fumes and other hazardous waste. I'd rather think on the heavenly and eternal. The sweet, sweet fragrance of Christ.

Ahhh. That.is.it. I am loved. Redeemed.Whole and imperfect all the dang while.

So in my sound moments I noticed my children today. I mean I really took them in. At one point Ainsley was changing into her jammies (for the third time) and I could not take how precious she looked. Her hair was falling out of a braid, big curls spilling to her chest. I put my face on her tummy and heard her little heart's beat. I took in her scent of dewy cinnamon and vanilla and all things Ainsley. She.is.alive! I am blessed. And Emerson. While we were at Target she stood in the checkout line and read aloud a story to her sister from a science magazine. Her reading continues to do my heart such good. Then to have her just take it upon herself to make my life easier by entertaining her sister at checkout time was enough to make me want to wrap her up in my arms and never let go.

So in reflection I'd call that a pretty good day after all. And then this morning our former pool guy told me the crack in the spa was there before we even moved in. Nothing to do with me. Not one thing. Cracks happen. Don't assume it's your fault. And even if it is - go easy on yourself. Lesson learned.

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